Lockdown

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I am from India ... I still don't intend to reveal my real identity ...but we are in lockdown...

it's 28 March'20 where I am still in front of my window... a few minutes back I was crying my heart out...
coz I keep pushing people whom I love...

You would have previously read the post of My Last Letter, past that in these 3 months.. many things happened, but the outcome I shall summaries I am in love... I am in love with someone who will never choose me the way I chose him...

my hand will always be empty coz I know now I will not hold anyone...
my arms will be empty because I will never feel that hug...

I have written a couple of stories about him... but I broke up with him... coz I guess I started complicating my life with my simple stupid feeling...

I love you Vipin, you have no idea but I chose you over my X. yes, I had the opportunity to go back to someone whom I loved for a decade...but things were acting strange...when I was planning to meet him... I met Vipin... I kissed him.. though I ddn feel anything... but that guy and me foolish girl

Today is 11 April'20, as days are passing by, my love for him doesn't fade away...
its been a couple weeks I have not texted him, called him or spoke to him... I don't know how he is, how he is feeling, does he miss me, or he moved on...

But every time I go to sleep or not busy at work, I keep imagining him with my open eyes...

14 April, his birthday. and I don't know if I should call/text him or should I not after what I did with him.

I keep imagining him around, sleeping beside me... I keep looking at his pics for hours missing him and thinking... does he miss me like I do? or does he miss me at all... I don't know...

I have fallen in a love with you, whom I cant ask to hold my hand...
I have fallen in love with you, whom I miss more than anyone I can think of...

I guess, I can only now share our stories here.... coz I have nowhere to go 

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