The Fault in our Stars!
Yes! the heading of this story is inspired by none other the famous novel and movie which was made on the love story... of an infinite number of 0s and 1s can also not define the amount of love one person shall exist with one another...
Yes! i am always moved in my fantasy world when i see love story let it in real or reel life... but that's how i am and i know that how i shall always be...
Yes! i am emotional fool by heart... but my mind keep a very strong check on me..to see where i am stumbling into...
i have broken my own heart god know how many times...and sometimes for its good...somtimes mind do also make mistake...but that time my heart explain me only one thing...someone who want to stay with you despite all the odd shall stay and someone who don't for ur or his mistake they shall not....
This year i have my heart placed into two places...and twice i took a risk to not to give away...rather let time tell...what it holds for me this time..
One guy , "the perfect marriage material guy", so the story started when i let go one another guy... and all of sudden i just thought of him ...maybe i made a mistake of letting him go..so i touched based with him after years and i thought no matter he is definitely someone pure soul and can be good friend... i still remember... i receive a message from him asking about my whereabouts ... him sharing his and we kind off took off from were we left... this time.. he kept insisting to me to visit his place..and i was thinking may be this is sign ....may be i am getting a second chance ...but than with time he started having doubt of my feeling...and i could understand his reservations..
we wished each other valentines day...spoke to each other...being open hearted this time...he was suspicious about me..but i wanted to assure him...so i spoke my heart all the time with him..never knew when u do sometime people take ur on completely wrong foot..but this ddn stay long...and he said to me something which just said...that if a guy can't take ur dark side ...than he can't take u at all...and it ended!
Second guy " whom i unknowingly brought close to my heart" who became my best friend... yeah i learned with time i am not in love with him... coz he can never been honest with me...god know every moment i stumble upon his lies he has no idea how much he has hurted me in due coarse of time...
he always says i don't mean anything... but when drunk... he speak completely different... and i realized .... he has no control on his own action.... he will eventually end up hurting everyone..coz he is like that...unfortunately he underestimated me a lot... he has no idea when he hide what he does...he has no idea...when he lie to me how i know... and since he is the way he is..and till date.. the accountability of his actions are being paid by him and others... but yeah unfortunately he became my best friend...a guy who know more than he should know... and this scared me ..coz this should not be the case...these secrets of mine should be with my life partner and he is a mess...
His action only remind me of my X every single time...they both have different story but actions repercussion are similar...i feel like i am again relieving my old story....
i know his deepest worries and secrets that he has never revealed to me.. i don't claim to know him... i dont want to claim that... but i can see through him... so i started keeping distance...less i see ...less i talk.. less i can read him....less i shall know...less he can read me too...
less i think of him..but he would say something which would always bring me back to 0s... and i hated him for that...coz these were not just said to me... but my cousins too... and that scared me...that he does not think atall before saying such things...
i know when i have hurted him with my actions... but i had to ...it was planned and its time for me to be keep reminding to forget... he has already done that ... and if not i know he will eventually...its for his own good...coz he is just a mess...and i am tired of trusting someone who always lies and forget me...
So yeah... it does not mean..i dnt believe in being emotional fool... i still believe if i can survive the worst pain experience again and again despite never wanting this... being hopeful in heart is not wrong at all...
i am still waiting for the one!!! who can prove me wrong...who shall be my best-est friend and i be his...coz i know i am a keeper... who can never let him down!!
More to come!!! waiting for my little infinity!!!
Yes! i am always moved in my fantasy world when i see love story let it in real or reel life... but that's how i am and i know that how i shall always be...
Yes! i am emotional fool by heart... but my mind keep a very strong check on me..to see where i am stumbling into...
i have broken my own heart god know how many times...and sometimes for its good...somtimes mind do also make mistake...but that time my heart explain me only one thing...someone who want to stay with you despite all the odd shall stay and someone who don't for ur or his mistake they shall not....
This year i have my heart placed into two places...and twice i took a risk to not to give away...rather let time tell...what it holds for me this time..
One guy , "the perfect marriage material guy", so the story started when i let go one another guy... and all of sudden i just thought of him ...maybe i made a mistake of letting him go..so i touched based with him after years and i thought no matter he is definitely someone pure soul and can be good friend... i still remember... i receive a message from him asking about my whereabouts ... him sharing his and we kind off took off from were we left... this time.. he kept insisting to me to visit his place..and i was thinking may be this is sign ....may be i am getting a second chance ...but than with time he started having doubt of my feeling...and i could understand his reservations..
we wished each other valentines day...spoke to each other...being open hearted this time...he was suspicious about me..but i wanted to assure him...so i spoke my heart all the time with him..never knew when u do sometime people take ur on completely wrong foot..but this ddn stay long...and he said to me something which just said...that if a guy can't take ur dark side ...than he can't take u at all...and it ended!
Second guy " whom i unknowingly brought close to my heart" who became my best friend... yeah i learned with time i am not in love with him... coz he can never been honest with me...god know every moment i stumble upon his lies he has no idea how much he has hurted me in due coarse of time...
he always says i don't mean anything... but when drunk... he speak completely different... and i realized .... he has no control on his own action.... he will eventually end up hurting everyone..coz he is like that...unfortunately he underestimated me a lot... he has no idea when he hide what he does...he has no idea...when he lie to me how i know... and since he is the way he is..and till date.. the accountability of his actions are being paid by him and others... but yeah unfortunately he became my best friend...a guy who know more than he should know... and this scared me ..coz this should not be the case...these secrets of mine should be with my life partner and he is a mess...
His action only remind me of my X every single time...they both have different story but actions repercussion are similar...i feel like i am again relieving my old story....
i know his deepest worries and secrets that he has never revealed to me.. i don't claim to know him... i dont want to claim that... but i can see through him... so i started keeping distance...less i see ...less i talk.. less i can read him....less i shall know...less he can read me too...
less i think of him..but he would say something which would always bring me back to 0s... and i hated him for that...coz these were not just said to me... but my cousins too... and that scared me...that he does not think atall before saying such things...
i know when i have hurted him with my actions... but i had to ...it was planned and its time for me to be keep reminding to forget... he has already done that ... and if not i know he will eventually...its for his own good...coz he is just a mess...and i am tired of trusting someone who always lies and forget me...
So yeah... it does not mean..i dnt believe in being emotional fool... i still believe if i can survive the worst pain experience again and again despite never wanting this... being hopeful in heart is not wrong at all...
i am still waiting for the one!!! who can prove me wrong...who shall be my best-est friend and i be his...coz i know i am a keeper... who can never let him down!!
More to come!!! waiting for my little infinity!!!
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