I miss my best friend to the CORE

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Every time i hurt others i hurt myself more.... but nothing beats the pain given to me from my own loved ones...

Simple words of not trusting your own child... who has been killing herself every moment with a smile on face...

i have been struggling to keep up my smile.. and i am so unfortunate that i need to request my own people to please understand... people who have been there around me all my life... i have to literally put words and beg them to please understand and allow me to give my space to compose myself....

and what remarks come in return.. i just want to enjoy my life..and lie without worrying about them...

i just can't take it any more mom.... am i that bad... that i am alone and no one i can hug too and cry on too...
No clue they have, on how many times i have cried in dark.... No clue they have how many times i have fallen sick and never let them knew...

I am a really tired mom... i just can't take this anymore on my own... i wish you could hug me to calm my turmoil...

Its good that no one loves me... no wonder i shall always miss what i cant have...
i am happy everyone has someone to latch on to in their hardship....
i am glad i am alone , coz i know its not good face to show to anyone...

I miss you... ML always
I missed my colors without you! 

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