Hope of Light...or Darkness for me...Can't Say

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Today i am happy for my brother coz his longest struggle is finally over.... he lost his career ... his life ... his love life... coz things didn't work in favor for the longest time... but today he is starting a new job after being jobless for almost a decade....

i am so happy for him.. coz i know he will go long way... way ahead than any of us can ever be... coz he smarter than me... better than me... intelligent than i am... and finally my mom's last wish fulfilled despite being late... but never....!!!

Today when i woke up... i saw him all ready to go for his life... i missed this look for the longest time. i still remember when he was in his highest point of life, and i used to look up to him... i was reminded all my life to be more of him... the best son ever....

sometimes i was jealous.. and i always used to say to my parents... you love him more than me....

but he was jealous of me... because with tym he had to share his stuff with me... and i always used to tag along with him everywhere... every place i was i used to hide behind him... and as he was reaching his adult age. where guys do get conscious... where they don't like their young siblings tagging along with them all the time... and i still used to do that.... with his highs and lows ....i always wished he has the success life that everyone looks up to him... and i know his time has come to shine again and never look back....

i might be bad in my life decision... or blank in my future but i know he is now going to change the rotation and balance back of the family... where i had to become a son of the home and he was the daughter.... i could see the old him coming back.. and i wish him all the happiness in the world...

May all the bad comes to me.. but he live the most envious and happy life that can ever be imagined by anyone...

With this i know soon i shall loose my moto in life.. coz watever i did watever i am doing is to support family till the time everything was back to normal... but now i know i need to find my place again...

i don't know what to do ...coz soon i shall be nobody for everyone...i guess i did wish to get lost and forgotten.. and may be that wish is about to be true...

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