Chosen Emptiness over Hugs!!!

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My heart is empty... and everything feels blank again!!!!

Past few days.... I felt something shall happen ... and I didn't know that I would end up choosing emptiness over friendship...

but I know my heart is hardcoded...to be alone...

Well! Yes last weekend... when I went to meet my friend... i was happy to see him and his work flourishing... he being super busy with work..and loving every moment of it.. despite how tired he was...

but that day was a weird day for me. coz for no reason that day started with me dreaming about my past.. which I never did for a really long time... and then speaking to someone whom I have not been in touch for months.. then meeting a friend and ending up seeing an online friend in the same vicinity...

and I just couldn't figure out what was going on.. too much to think about it... but my soul was restless... the feeling that something shall happen..somthing major is about to come...

and it did...I like that day coz unknowingly I was getting the attention from friends and ppl... I thought it good to be surrounded by ppl...

little I knew after few days of this incidence I shall choose to disconnect...for the simplest reason.. of me being female who is being questioned by her father about her character and being told what to do at this age....

I cannot accept anything wrong... but I can't keep fighting with ppl who means the world to me. that person questions my character..despite being brutally honest...

I don't know what my fault is... but I just know I had to pay the price all the time...despite ppl forget to see where my happiness lies...

I have fought everyone for my family...and now my family questions me .. I seriously feel lost... that whatever I am doing... whenever I find ppl whom I connect with... I have to push them away...for their own better...

Well... I know now for sure. I am meant to be alone....whether I chose it for me... or it chose me... I can't hurt anyone... I am too tired of this...

I want to be lost forever and never be found! My heart keeps crying... and I am too damaged now!!


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