I call Myself ..A Peaceful Warrior

i guess.. with time... i have become an expert in hurting my heart...breaking it into pieces... before i allow anyone else to do it to me... Strange... i know soon... i shall again push someone away...without any reason or justification given to him... he has not been knowing that i have been thinking this for months... but every time he messages or call... he just melt me... every time i say to myself... control yourself... you will get hurt...and every time i forget when i see him... but finally this emotional fool girl has finally decided, the best way to undo what has been done ...is to ask him to undo... its not that i have not hinted him earlier...but as i realised with time... i can't act anymore ....i want him to disconnect with me before i cross my threshold... Funny.. i found a guy who is looking for someone who is like me...and i found him exactly like a guy i wanna be with...but the strange part is... i don't believe in coming close to anyone when i see he h...

it's been years that I have been so open about me with someone... One point I actually lied, which I haven't done in ages to be with him over and above what my family thought... Every time when I am internally disturbed, he is always a call away... or say he is there... but I am hesitant coz I fear to be addicted to him being around... addicted of his warm hug...addicted of not to feel alone anymore... I know its very rare to find a friend who is so sweet from their heart.. that you shall fail to not to like him.... so this story is about him... So I don't remember clearly how it began, but I do know he is a friend whom I met through a dating app...i do remember very clearly when I first met him... and his clear reaction was I am tall... and I was thinking... what??? what is he thinking...is he scanning me...men and their x rays vision...  keep forgetting... anyways... so my reaction to few of his statement in the first meeting...made me feel that he is look...

Today has been an emotional day for me... not just because i am an emotional person...but what i saw... and what it reminded me of... i guess... after really long time... i am again struggling to be strong... i know it's getting difficult every single day to walk this path all myself.... but before i share my today.. i walk through a glimpse about this week... There are things i have not been saying to people and i know i don't want them to think... that i  am weak...or emotional fool ....or stupid... but i do get hurt... i do feel lonely... i do feel sometimes someone hug me and be mine....i do feel to give up all for what i chose... So here it goes, after all, i started writing to say what i want...with all my heart open... FIRST: i seriously don't know what career is to me... for other its their passion... its their love for work... its their dream.... but i just sat... do i really love my job?... ans is NO!... why i started it in first place... i just ...