I call Myself ..A Peaceful Warrior

its end of 2019 and I have my timeclock started... I know it will be bizarre to say that this letter is my death letter... something that I wanted to say but never had the guts to speaks to whom I loved. So here it is a truth I can never dare to speak with my mouth..... I was in love with my 1st for the longest time... 2008-2019, I know a decade in love to someone...who ran like a bullet and regretted to have fallen in love for me... I am in love with Vipin, who thought I can be mature, but he never saw the real me till he said yes... that time I realized I am not right for him... nor physically or mentally. But he was only one left...a hope to pull me out ... when I saw him dredding the relationship he was in, I could have been selfish and let him be with me with my eyes closed... But as I was a fool before I am a fool now... I loved him..n I love him... knowing that he doesn't ... one night he was sweet with me as he gave me my 5 mins... he was happy with his friends...

it's been a while I have written anything... but he took me off my old stale life and let me imagine a life I never dared to see... yes! I am in love all over again.. but this time again I had to push not because he is not right... only because we aren't right... who said that you only can fall in love with someone right... he is right for me in every aspect but one thing only brought to this point was... I still didn't know him and fallen for him... this combination is very dangerous... I guess another reason can be ...since I don't know him... I don't know what I am for him... but looking at his mute response... I guess I was wrong to imagine that I can ever be of anyone's life importance... this year Jan 2019 we met... I just thought he was only being friendly... never imagined that I would end up being his girlfriend... never ever in my wildest dream, I ever thought he would be interested in me... never ever in my wildest dream I ever would ha...

Its over 7 month now... since i moved to new city... its been 7*30 days... when i met people and they said 1000 glorious words... but till date... no one...including my family...every visited me.... everyone has time for their love.. but their is no one who ever said to me i want to be with you... i want my time with you... Rather i living my struggle and happiness alone... I guess... time itself says back to again and again... Walk alone... suffer alone ... be alone..smile alone... i really dont have much to say today... but i really miss my Mom... coz she would have never made me feel alone..despite how i am inside.... i have stopped believing in people and their words... i never make time for person who cant keep their words and time for me... thats my promise to me...