I call Myself ..A Peaceful Warrior

Ever heard of holding on too.... i am sure many did...and many have held on to someone or something in their life... and i am just a person... who can't hold on to anyone... rather i hope someone will hold on for me... don't know when...don't know if i ever will find someone now in my life for that hope.... when i see a sweet couple ... whose love is blooming... i just know what i miss... when i see someone eyes..wanting the attention of the other person... i know what that person is looking for... when i see someone blushing...for a compliment given by their crush or their person... i know what pure feeling it can be... strange...i never asked anyone ...to stay! not my X.. not my friends or people who came by in my life.... NEVER told them to stay with me...coz i don't believe in asking someone...i still don't believe in a relationship with asking or saying... i still believe if person care for you or love you purely...without any condition... that person ...

What hurts more... when people misunderstand your love as selfish affection or when your life keeps repeatedly saying and telling about death... Keeping my strong face on is the hardest... People say you leave abruptly... what should I say... i leave because if i stay they will know i am weak... and i know nobody like weak... been there...seen that... A quote.. only your pillow knows how much you have cried when someone has hurt you... Everyone things.. i am strong .. i am selfish .. i am rude...everyone including my family can only see my hardshell... i am so weak inside that smallest slightest word can hurt me to core... the only difference is ... i have become a good actor... in faking... But i am struggling to keep myself together... everytime people who are close to my heart...has been killing me...and honestly, i really don't want to bear this pain anymore... i know i am not allowed to give up... but i am tired of being me....tired to take my family, fr...

A couple of months has been hard... let be emotional, financial or any other thing ... but i don't have any choice but to find my way out of this... some are lucky and some aren't... sometimes i feel sorry for the people who can't keep what they have... and sometimes i feel sorry for me that i couldn't find anyone whom i can count on.... My friends ...my people are in good place in their life....i am happy for them.... but at this point, i am sad for myself... coz some treat me being a fool... and i feel sorry that they can be that stupid... but nonetheless... a friend of mine told me once...when you find someone who will always keep u happy...be with him... don't be with someone who can make u feel weak... rather be with someone who can make u feel strong....and i shall take this mantra as i am moving forward. Past months.. i have met so many old and new people and still can't rely on anyone... So am back to my solitude, which i am comfortable and hap...